When Good Intentions Go Bad


The Couple's Massage.Our new location provides us with the space to offer “Couple’s Massage”. Basically it’s the massage you want, in the same room with a friend, lover, spouse, sibling, parent, or anyone else you would like to schedule the massage with.The couple’s massage is often requested, but sometimes I fear it doesn’t live up to the image that people build up about it. When you watch reality shows, it seems perfect.The perfect romantic date.The perfect Mother/Daughter treat.The perfect girlfriend's relaxation day.I mean massage is awesome (just ask me), and you love spending time with your significant other, whomever they may be, so what could go wrong?Here are ways I’ve witnessed a couple’s massage go wrong:

  • People have different massage rituals. Some people completely zone out. Others enjoy chatting about their children or sports teams. If the person you are getting your massage with does not have a similar ritual, someone is going to be disappointed. I’ve witnessed one party flipping the bird to their other half because they kept talking. Not the ideal massage situation. I gave a kick butt massage, but my person just could not get into their zone and enjoy their massage. Instead schedule individual massages at the same time!
  • As a first date. Getting a massage is a very personal thing for people. It should not be on the menu for a first date. Nothing about “undress to the level of your comfort and get on the massage table”, is first date material. Save it for later.
  • As a surprise, unless you really, really, know the person but even then proceed with caution. Here’s the thing that comes up most of the time with this situation: Usually a man is trying really hard to impress his woman and will set up a whole romantic evening. The problem is their date usually goes all out getting ready for the date, hair, makeup, the best outfit. Then, when they arrive, they don’t want their efforts to be spoiled. Give a bit of a warning.
  • The first time massage participant. Sometimes this works because the 2nd person becomes more relaxed in a room with someone they love and trust. Most often, the 2nd person just goes through the motions because they don’t want to spoil the event for the other half. Their massage is ruined with nerves and simply just being on edge the whole time not knowing what to expect. They may not feel comfortable asking the questions they want to because they don’t want to interrupt the other person’s massage. However, they usually become the martyr and go along with the situation.
  • The person that just doesn’t want a massage but they are brought in anyway. This is usually a combination situation. Don’t push massage on your loved one. It’s awkward. There’s no real winner in this situation. Not everyone loves or even likes massage and that’s ok. It may bring up a traumatic situation for them. They may have a poor body image. They may not like strangers touching them. Please respect their boundaries.

When you think about scheduling a couple’s massage, please keep these things in mind. Make the experience awesome for both of you. It’s always unfortunate when a thoughtful gesture turns into a selfish situation unintentionally.